Hang onto your runes is all I'm sayin'.

When I was little, my Mama sat me down one day and told me the story of her billfold. It was a brown, leather billfold and it had a horse on it. It wasn't a horse actually ingrained in the leather but more like a metallic kinda horse atop the leather. And she was pretty sure it was a horse. And she doesn't know why this good friend of hers would give her a HORSE billfold and not a dog or a cat billfold, but it was a horse and she loved it. She was 10-ish.

And somehow, that horse billfold grew to hold a dollar bill. A WHOLE DOLLAR!! And, sakes alive, that was a ton of money "way back then." (Sorry, Mom. But I didn't call it an ANTIQUE billfold, now did I??)

So, one day at school she supposes she'd been flashing this dollar bill about and this little girl who sat a desk away and to the right went and secretly RIPPED IT OUT of the horse head billfold when Mama innocently set her things on an empty desk between them.

"I know she took it, I know she did," she pleaded with the nun who was her teacher. Of course there was no proving it and, the nun had no pity (imagine!), and with the exception of the Bloody Nose and No Tissue in Chapel story, THAT story has hung with me the most ... ALL THESE YEARS.

So, the reason Mama sat me down to tell me this story ... and I'm pretty sure I was sitting ... is that I was about six-ish and had just gone and spilled the Little Lady Party beans to Jenny Topness, and Mama wasn't very happy with me.

Little Lady Party beans, you ask? I don't remember how it evolved since most of my birthday parties involved Halloween costumes, but somehow I knew in the back of my brain that Mama wanted to give me a Little Lady Party where we'd wear long gloves and fancy hats and drink tea with sugar and spice and everything nice and act ... like Little Ladies did ... "way back then." (D'oh!!)

Well, somehow in the tree-climbing and the bike-riding and the idolizing of Shaun Cassidy that were my days w/ my Childhood Best Friend, I casually mentioned the Little Lady Party and I'll be DAMNED if my Childhood Best Friend didn't go and steal my beans and my "way back then" and host her OWN Little Lady Party.

It was at this point that Mama sat me down and explained the importance of KEEPING ONE'S TRAP SHUT and then I went and got a blog.

So, during this last long ... hot ... couple of weeks of summer my boys have developed a love of Star Wars and Runescape. They'd been slow to warm to all that is Star Wars except for a friendly neighborhood saber battle here and there, mostly because they'd never seen the movies. But, this summer we decided we'd see what all the hype is about and have watched (and kinda enjoyed) Episodes 4,5, and 6 and now 1. God! George Lucas is messing with us with all the prequel, sequel mess and he's never really gotten his animation down and how many NAMES can one character HAVE I ask you??!? And is a Jedi the same as a Jedi Knight? Jedi Master? I do not feel I have the patience to investigate.

Now, in addition to all things Jedi, The Big One digs anything Medieval, so he could spend a really healthy amount of time (and not HOURS at a time, because, yes, I am a perfect mother) playing games like Age of Empires and Runescape and HOLY FULL BODY ARMOR, BATMAN, I cannot stand another minute of hearing how many oak trees it takes to saw and sell to acquire a "full med helm," or a "dragon battle axe." And I've had to invoke his former kindergarten teacher's rule of "no video game talk" in my presence POR FAVOR because I might go all MEDIEVAL on your not-yet-pre-teen arse!!

Well, there's a friend of The Big One, A Friend Who Shall Not Be Named, who digs as much as my Big One the Medieval games but is not allowed to dig them at HIS home. So, guess where he spends much of his afternoon? MY home.

And yesterday ... after days of sharing passwords and body armor and User IDs and kite shields ("I AM listening to you, son.") and Medieval monetary units w/ this friend ... The Big One signed onto his free Runescape account (But, for the love of kite shields, did you know there are kids who PAY for this stress and nonsense?) and discovered all his gold, all his armor, all his God. Bless. America. FREAKING MED HELMS were GONE??? Gone!! I tell you!!

First, he wanted to go all battle crazy on one kid from the block. Then another.

"Sweetie, who knew your password?" I asked. "Your User ID? Who knew of all your WEALTH?"

Then, he rang doorbells and knocked on doors and had it narrowed to another nerdish kid who couldn't draw himself away from an animated duel long enough to respond ...

So, "we" think we have it narrowed to the Childhood Best Friend with the Relative from Afar who took the password, stole the loot and ruined THIS mama's afternoon.

So, WHO do you think was sitting and listening to MY stories yesterday?

Stories of trust and honor. Keeping one's trap SHUT! Confidence. Friendship. Truth. Valor. And the American Way?

The Big One got all that and then some. He endured Life Lessons wrapped up tighter than a one dollar bill in a silky long glove alongside some freaky metallic horse head w/ a full med helm and a dash of sugar and spice ... just like a Little Lady should.