As I go about my day to day, I often mentally assign myself the very important-sounding titles of "Design Consultant," "Organizational Consultant," "Customer Service Consultant," to most of the businesses and offices I frequent.
Nobody in those offices asked ME, but if they did and were paying me to tell them the truth, I'd tell them the art is hung too high on the wall.
The water cooler drip dish looks kinda mildewy.
You're a DOCTOR/DENTIST/LAWYER, for goodness sake, you can afford better (stain-free) furnishings.
CLEAN YOUR CARPET!
Childrens' play areas need to consist of ONLY things that can be scalded and sanitized. No HATS or stuffed animals.
Greeting diners w/ "Smoking or Non?" does NOT constitute a proper welcome.
Same goes for "Are you ready to check out?"
And there are those cash register folks who mutter nothing at all. Oooh, what I'd like to do w/ them!
I'd like to do the same thing to the people who tell me on the phone or behind glass that I've "fallen out of the system."
Currently, I think the folks at my bank have had the best round of customer service training. They downright LIKE me there.
My dry cleaners too. They KNOW me, whether I have on a hat, makeup, no makeup, dark glasses.
And speaking of dark glasses ...
I'd heard that Angelina and her husband were in town -- she, filming a movie about journalist Daniel Pearl. He -- her husband -- I think he's producing some part of it.
So, when MY husband invited me to dinner last nite for an early Valentine's Day feast, we chose a downtown hot spot often frequented by those dark glasses-wearing folk -- or so I've read and heard. AND we had a gift card.
Here is this "Consultant's" report:
Several valets must've called in sick because the line to park was absurd. This bothered ME not at all since we were alone in a QUIET car listening to each other and not last summer's VBS soundtrack on the stereo. But, Angelina might've minded.
The joint gets high marks for having our reservation and clarifying pronunciation of our name, but there was a little too much "business" going on behind the hostess desk -- we weren't sure whether we were supposed to wait, follow the man in the suit, have a drink ... WHAT? ... while she clicked away on her high-tech seating chart. Again, didn't bother THIS mommy too much, because they were friendly and kept smiling at us, but Angie might've wondered, "What tha ...?"
Our waiter was precious -- the right amount of funny and business -- the suited-guy from the front kept wandering by to fold our napkins. Nice too. Servers -- great. Food -- delicious.
I learned the difference between oil-based and cream-based Caesar salad dressing. I like oil-based. Best I ever ate!
I made several trips to the ladies room only to scan the dining room for dark glasses and famous people. None stood out.
IF I was a consultant to this fine-dining establishment, I'd have THOUGHTS about the ladies room.
I would put my hand towels -- and paper is fine -- in a basket on the counter. I know they might get dripped upon when Angie, or whoever, reaches for one, but it is far more aesthetically pleasing than the "whirrrrrr" of the automatic dispenser. Those are for people w/ GERMS. Angie doesn't have germs.
PINK SOAP!! LOSE the industrial-scented pink soap! And there was not ONE pink soap dispenser, but two, mounted on the WALL opposite the whirrrrring towel dispenser.
Pink soap (the kind that smells like gas station soap or elementary school soap) is FINE in a gas station or an elementary school, but not a fine-dining establishment. Just an unobtrusive soap spigot built into the granite countertop w/ the soap concealed beneath. And make sure it smells good -- our hands aren't that dirty since we haven't been filling our cars w/ gas OR finger-painting, so just a nice almond-y, lavender-scented something so that when we wander back to our table, SPOT Angelina and her husband, SHAKE hands and mutter something about LUVING "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," we SMELL good ...
Thank you to MY husband for a lovely, lovely evening. Not A THING I'd change about you!
