Don't Stop Believin'

It's now spring, and this post has been lying around in edits for so long it's dusty. The movie mentioned below is now out on DVD, so ignore any reference to time. I'm spring cleaning. Purging. Here is today's donation sack. It's a special one. And it's worth a fortune.

Occasionally now, I'll catch The Short One touching his fingers lightly to his chin and face and mouthing the word shapes of numbers. "Mommy, five and five are TEN." Some equations are more complex. Some less. But, his fingers to his face seem to help him organize the parts of his equations.

Back in December, while The Big One and his daddy shot birds from the sky in West Texas, The Short One and I went to the theatre to catch any ONE of the Christmas flicks that didn't involve big slobbery dogs and their CERTAIN demise. And to eat sour apple gummy ropes. Darn if those aren't good.

So, as soon as "Bedtime Stories" rolled its opening credits and the lead actors took charge of the screen, I decided WITHOUT EVEN PUTTING MY FINGERS ON MY FACE that in our family, THIS:

(That's Adam Sandler and it's raining gumballs.)

is exactly the SUM of ...

ONE "FUNNY DADDY," aka Uncle James, aka "Maw"

AND

ONE GOOD OL' UNCLE KRIS, aka Too Many Nicknames That Would Embarrass Him

A little background here. See, I have this one relative who "looks like" Chris Rock. Swear to you he is the spitting image of Rock. But, my relative is WHITE. And, well, Chris ISN'T. And it's not even really that they LOOK alike, but there's something about the way he holds his mouth and gets all crazy w/ his eyes that makes you think WHITE CHRIS ROCK. Swear.

Same thing w/ Tiger Woods. Sometimes the way he walks. The way his shirt sits on him just so. Looks just like ... well ... someone else I'm related to.

So, when Adam Sandler started connecting w/ his niece and nephew in this movie, and, thusly, the audience, I thought, "Dang my kids are lucky." Cuz something about the way Adam Sandler's hair does that "thing" and the way he just seems to have a heart big enough to wrap its arms around you and SQUEEEEZE and the way he tells those jokes and makes those noises and makes those kids enjoy LIFE. It just totally sums up the way my BROTHER and my OTHER BROTHER treat my kids. And they treat them like royalty. Royalty w/ gumballs.

Kids, your Uncle Kris is always going to have a funny movie for you to watch. A movie to quote. A movie that he will make so funny by his maniacal SNICKERING that you will always love that movie. And you will smile each time you think of HIM. And that movie.

Text message from me to him today: "Kris, what's Chevy Chase call his gun in National Lampoon's Vacation? I can't remember."

Text reply today from him to me: "A Magnum PI. And it can put a lodge under the skin and cause a very nasty infection."

He loves the "old" comedies. And the slashers. I don't care that you see the slashers, but you gotta see the comedies. And laugh with him, please. When Tom Hanks falls thru the porch holding the pan of brownies in The 'Burbs, for the love of all that's holy, LAUGH.

He will come up w/ all the funny nicknames for you. Big One, he used to call you "Tom Petty" when you were an infant ... cuz of your long, blond locks and "big ol' head."

He will keep you up late playing 80s music trivia on YOUTUBE and instill a love of the Dallas Cowboys. (Today, he's kinda pissed at the team and mentioned something about Wade Phillips head and Tony Romo's ... well ... but anyhoo, he's a die hard fan. Listen to him.)

He will teach you to golf. He will remind you to take care in the sand trap. But, he will mend you if you should take a club to the forehead. And he will not faint. Or throw up. He will instruct you to love guitar music. Especially your famous relatives. And ZZ Top. And Eric Johnson. But, especially your famous relatives.

He will show you what it means to work hard. But, not take things too seriously. And he'll always remind you to love your Mama. And Grandmama. Because he does.

He's got that kinda quirky ability to connect with you like he's a kid, too. He will talk to you like you're his size. Or he's your size. Whichever works.

He will always take care of you.

***

Short One, my fondest memory of you and your FUNNY DADDY (a name which you created for your Uncle James, and rightly so) happened several years ago when we were on vacation in Virginia. You were little. Three or so. Our family and FUNNY DADDY'S girls ("girls" includes Aunt SMOOSHY) were in Jamestown, and amid the exhibits of blacksmithing and horseshoeing and glassblowing, we found some "period" costumes lying about ... metal helmets, chest plates, HEAVY armor like settlers might have worn in battle. We were trying to get you suited up in a manner that wouldn't knock you down and, little did you know, Funny Daddy was behind you putting on the same stuff. To YOU, this is what a construction worker might wear. A medieval "hard hat," if you will. So, when you turned your heavy little, steel-belted body around and saw Uncle James dressed just like you ... ready for battle ... you exclaimed, "YOU werpin' man!" As in, "Look at YOU, Funny Daddy ... lookin' just like a construction "workin'" man, too!" He laughed. We laughed. YOU couldn't figure what all the laughing was about. But, the name stuck. And that was kind of a "moment."

You are his "Jack Jack." You're the reason we all, the whole damn family, call each other "Maw." (Since this was one of the only syllables you could muster when you were a pre-talker, and what you called me, for soooooo long, it seemed.) I swear he feels a greater need to care for you than any other, except for his own, it seems.

Your Daddy's baby brother is a fine example to you and your brother. He's smart. But not too smart. He works hard. But not too hard. He plays hard. But not too hard. He's hard-headed. But not too hard-headed. (Let's call him persistent.) He's funny. But not obnoxious. He's loving.

He will teach you about cars. "Ski jets." Boats, beach cabins and the whole trailer park. He will teach you to build boxes. Build houses. And buy diamond rings. He will teach you to love Texas music. Canadian music. Beach music.

He will teach you to hunt. LORD. He will teach you to hunt. And he will remind you to love your Mama. And your Grandmama. And he'll remind you to love your Daddy, too. Because he does. He will always, ALWAYS, make you laugh.

And he will always take care of you.

***

A year ago, after we hosted a birthday party for The Tall One's 50th birthday, a friend commented to me how impressed she was by how "dedicated" my brothers-in-law are to ME. ME?? This is something I've always felt, from the moment I met my husband's three brothers. In fact, not too many days after The Tall One and I had our first date, he told me he couldn't wait to introduce me to his brothers. As tho' that was the test. He could only date someone to whom he could introduce to his brothers. And whom they could tease mercilessly, but love and support endlessly. I have always felt this "dedication" personally, but it pleases me that those around me see it too. In my heart, I know that this dedication is less about me and wholly about their brother. It is largely because of their devotion to him, and his to them, that "me and them" are such a good fit.

And I know they'll always take care of me. As I will them.