She Meant Well

This morning I went to the grocery store armed w/ the longest list this season. This list was so long in the making that, in the beginning, I truly didn't know where to ... begin ... after wine.
I looked at this blank page for days, so overwhelmed that I chose ironing and playing with the DOG over picking up a simple writing tool and getting started.
Holiday gatherings. Classroom parties. Daily essentials. Food pantry contributions. Christmas gifts.
I bothered friends for recipes ... ANYTHING to inspire me to bravely make my list and take a step forward ... and into HEB. I scoured cookbooks. Surveyed the family. Made notes. Checked the pantry. Examined the spice cabinet. Cleaned out fridge and freezer.
Today was the day. Since, the boys took a lunchbox of carbs to school for lunch ... oh, and water. Carbs and water. Bread and water. Prison or penance. Or, Mommy hasn't been to the grocery store since Halloween.
When my list reaches a certain length, I find it useful to organize it into sections of the store so I don't backtrack and waste precious minutes when I could otherwise be home ... cleaning dog hair out of the lint filter.
With a list full of new recipes and lots of patience, I started w/ produce and ended in poppy seeds. And that spice aisle was NUTS. Crazy women w/ big baskets ... kids ... reaching, pushing ... WHAT'S UP?? HOLIDAYS ANYONE??
I finished w/ a full, heavy basket. Unloaded a plethora of canned goods and HOPED TO GOD the checker didn't think the canned "luncheon meat" was for ME. Everyone knows the homeless like potted meat, right?
Took a deep breath, smiled at my checker and hoped she didn't bruise my bananas. Oh, and realized for the 19th time since I bought them that I forgot my new, canvas, hippie shopping bags.
"Plastic, please," I smiled. And took a deep breath.
The checker smiled back. And as she blipped my potted meat across the scanner, THESE WORDS came out of her mouth.

"Soooo, do you have the day off today?"

And, THEN, to add further injury, she began tying the handles to my plastic shopping bags into teeny. tiny. FIRM. little. KNOTS!! Do I HATE that??
So, now. On my "day off", I've unloaded the bags from the car. CLIPPED THE KNOTS from my bags and unloaded all the items. Sorted and bagged freezer goods. I will haul out my cookbooks, chop onions, brown ground turkey, boil spaghetti, clean dishes, partake of baked and decorated classroom goodies, haul heavy bags to the food pantry all the while coaching my children on patience and compassion and charitable giving, hear the whiiiines of "whaaaat's thaaaat?" at dinnertime and repeatedly kick, I mean, gently push the dog away from the scraps in the trash can.
It's beginning to feel like a right damn VACATION!

(And don't think for a minute I'm going to respond happily to comments of "be thankful you have money to buy food, food to feed your children, children to whom you may feed the food, blah, blah, blah." I'm THANKFUL!! Can't you TELL?)